It’s common to feel worse at first, and it usually doesn’t mean the training is failing. You’re paying attention to sensations you used to run from, changing old habits and moving to harder steps, and each of those can feel like a step back for a while. Pain, erection trouble or feeling low are different: see someone.
You start training to last longer, and for the first sessions you seem to finish even faster than before. Or you make progress for a couple of weeks, move on to something harder, and it feels like you’re back at the start. It’s tempting to conclude that it doesn’t work for you. Before you do, I think it’s worth knowing that this is one of the most common things men describe when they start.
Is it normal to get worse before it gets better?
Yes, it’s common, and on its own it usually doesn’t mean the training is failing. When you start, you pay attention to sensations you used to run from, you change old habits, and each new step is harder than the last. All of that can feel like going backwards for a while. Pain, erection trouble or feeling low are a different story, and a reason to see someone.
Why it can feel worse at first
I’ll be honest from the start: I haven’t found a study that measures this dip. What follows is my reading of it, based on what’s known about premature ejaculation and on what men who train describe again and again.
The first reason is attention. Stanley Althof, a psychologist who has written a lot about premature ejaculation, notes that men with it often fear focusing on their excitement, believing it will make them come even faster. So most of us spent years thinking about anything else (my grandmother included). When you start paying attention on purpose, the sensations feel louder, and for a while that can genuinely speed things up. Learning to notice the build-up without being swept away by it takes time.
The second is habit. If you’ve always gone fast, especially alone, slowing down feels strange and your body doesn’t know the new pattern yet. Old reflexes, like clenching to hold back, don’t disappear the day you decide to stop using them.
The third is the steps themselves. Each time you move to something more intense, you lose part of what you had built in the easier situation. That’s why so many men who were fine on their own feel back at zero once a partner is involved (I wrote about that gap in why can I last alone but not with my partner). Going back a little at each step is normal, it doesn’t wipe out what came before.
And then there’s ordinary life: a bad night, stress at work, a few days without practice, a long break without sex. Any of those can make a session go badly without saying anything about your progress.
What helps you keep going
Mostly, patience and a way of seeing progress. Winning a few minutes took me years, and even now it doesn’t work every single time. The difference is that when it doesn’t, I know why, and I adjust. That’s a more realistic goal than a straight line upwards.
Writing down a few notes after each session helps a lot here. On a bad day you remember only the bad day; on paper, you can see that last week was better than the week before. And it’s worth knowing that the studies on this kind of training ran for 8 to 12 weeks, so judging it after a few sessions is a bit early. I go into timelines in how long does it take to fix premature ejaculation.
If things improved for a long time and then came back, that’s a slightly different question, which I cover in why does premature ejaculation come back after it got better.
When it isn’t just a dip
Some things aren’t part of a normal learning curve. See a doctor if you have pain in the pelvis or testicles, pain when you ejaculate, or trouble urinating, or if your erections are getting weaker outside training too. Those deserve a proper check, not more practice.
And if it’s weighing on you to the point of feeling hopeless, very anxious or low, talk to someone: your doctor, a psychologist or a sex therapist. If you ever have thoughts of harming yourself, contact a crisis line or emergency services in your country straight away. You don’t have to sort this out on your own.
Sources
- Psychosexual therapy for premature ejaculation, Stanley E. Althof, Translational Andrology and Urology, 2016
- Lifelong premature ejaculation can be treated by pelvic floor exercises, European Association of Urology, on Pastore et al., 2014 (12 weeks)
- The effects of diaphragmatic breathing exercises on individuals with premature ejaculation: a randomized controlled trial, Erkut et al., Journal of Sexual Medicine, 2025 (8 weeks)